Aural sex: Inside the podcast that goes deep … ‘Balls Deep’

By Gabe Friedman

Arielle Kaplan has knocked over a glass of rosé onto a rug in the living room of her Clinton Hill one-bedroom, but she laughs it off. It’s an old rug and the wine will blend in anyway, she says.

“It’s honestly probably for the best that we don’t drink the whole bottle,” says her friend and co-podcaster Rachel Wainz, who’s sitting across the room at a table, setting up video and audio recording equipment. “We have done that before,” she adds in a fake British accent.

“Yeah, and people said it was such a fun episode,” Kaplan says. Kaplan and Wainz, both 26, are prepping to record an episode of their humorous sex podcast “Balls Deep,” which is funded by Bellesa, a feminist porn and sex toy company. After a little more banter, and a few puffs from a vape, they dive into recording.

“We’re going to schmooze, news and have a fun little interview for you later before answering some q’s,” Wainz says. “OK girl, tell me about your weekend!” Kaplan says. Wainz opens by talking about her new cat, a female rescue she named Mandy Patinkin. That leads to discussion of the possibility of cat-plus-weed cafes, now that recreational marijuana use is legal in New York. Wainz is in a long-term relationship, and she highlighted some … challenges around integrating her furry new roommate.

“But Mandy doesn’t know how to respect personal space. So this is something we’re gonna need to work on,” Wainz says. “What—were you [and your boyfriend] fucking when she came through?” Kaplan asks.

“She’s so young right now that she is trying to be interactive. I was laying on the bed naked, and she was fully trying to like, lick my nipples, and tried to bite his dick,” Wainz says.

In their hour-plus episodes, which garner tens of thousands of listens per month, the pair aim to destigmatize sex by talking bluntly, openly and graphically about it—the joys, the difficulties and obstacles it can pose, the ways it’s portrayed in pop culture and beyond. They incorporate their own sexual experiences too. For Kaplan, that involves the Wild West of New York City app dating; for Wainz, that’s healthy and intimate couplehood (both of sets of their parents and other family members usually don’t listen, but Wainz and Kaplan say they’re nonetheless supportive).

In a growing sex podcast ecosystem—and an online world generally more open to talking about the graphic details—they also look to separate themselves from competitors by discussing news involving sexual health, through scientific studies that make headlines or other articles that tackle sexual topics. They like to call it sex education through comedy.

In the previous week’s episode, they brought up a Princeton study on how the prevalence of “public” sex infrastructure (think strip clubs, adult movie theaters and so on) affects the rates of sex crimes in cities (spoiler: it lowers them). The interview segment—one per episode—featured Alexandra Roxo, author of “F*ck Like a Goddess: Heal Yourself. Reclaim Your Voice. Stand in Your Power.” The trio talked about the complexity of the female orgasm, another topic that comes up often in various forms.

Earlier in the episode, they mentioned a new male masturbation gadget that claims to recreate the intensity of the female orgasm for men. Kaplan and Wainz connected with the company when they responded to a callout from Bellesa, which was looking to get into the podcast business, over a year ago. The pair had become friends a few years earlier while both were working for pop culture site The Tab. Wainz went on to work in publishing and at newsletter companies, while Kaplan would go on to multiple brands under the Jewish-themed 70 Faces Media umbrella, including millennial site Alma and parentingsite Kveller.

Kaplan had dabbled with other sex-themed podcasts before, and the pair first reconnected in 2020 to work on one called “Oral History,” about “seductresses, from Cleopatra to Jessica Rabbit.” From there, they pitched “Balls Deep” as a predominantly news and education podcast, but the Bellesa team enjoyed Kaplan and Wainz’s comedic chit-chat so much that they encouraged them to lean into it. Bellesa supplied them with recording equipment and pays them $1,100 for each episode on a contractual basis. But they both call it their dream job.

The duo record in Kaplan’s apartment along the neighborhood’s quiet Washington Avenue. The living room’s bookshelves are full of books on sex, and a green-tinted bong sits next to a pen holder shaped like a boob. On the TV stand, a box set of the ’90s Comedy Central animated show “Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist” sits above a loaf of bread (“stale by now,” Kaplan observes) made in the shape of a large penis.

A half hour into recording, Wainz looks at the camera, which is rolling to give them footage they can edit into short Instagram TV videos.

“Oh no!” they both yell in unison. The audio recorders were on, but the camera was not.

“We only missed a few good ones, alright?” Wainz says to Kaplan. “We’re gonna do more good ones.”

Don’t touch that dial.

This article first appeared in the Fall 2021 issue of Brooklyn Magazine. Click here to subscribe today.