Artist talks and cemetery walks: 13 things to do this weekend

And if you don’t have a Valentine this year, you might be able to find one while trekking across the Brooklyn Bridge

If the weather forecast is to be believed, today will mark the first semi-tolerable day after what feels like a bleaker-than-usual winter. Fortunately, there’s no shortage of activities this weekend to match.

Among the happenings across the borough are: A chance to win dripping wet $1 bills, a guided tour of Green-Wood Cemetery’s heartbreaking-est sites, an amateur bead making class, and Super Bowl parties galore. And assuming your name’s not Dave Portnoy, you can probably handle a football game coming the day before Valentine’s Day. Which means you’re in for a good time.

Here’s your weekend to-do list, Brooklyn. Get to it:

Friday, February 11

Enjoy chocolate fondue in a real chocolate factory
Multiple times
If you’re in search of a unique pre-Valentine’s Day date, head over to Kakhow, a top-rated chocolate factory in Williamsburg, which is hosting a romantic fondue night that’ll include a photo booth, music, roses and more. This one-hour event is $175 per person, and is BYOB if you’re looking to enjoy some adult beverages with your dessert; it offers seatings throughout the evening at 5, 6:30, 8 and 9:30 p.m., with additional times available on Saturday and Sunday.

Brooklyn Talks with Nona Faustine
7 p.m.
Hosted by the Brooklyn Museum, this latest installment of its Brooklyn Talks series will see local artist Nona Faustine discuss her new book “White Shoes,” which centers on a collection of self-portraits taken at the former sites of slave auctions, burial grounds and slave-owning farms around New York. Tickets to the event at $16 and include a book signing with Faustine and after-hours access to the museum’s “The Slipstream: Reflection, Resistance, and Resilience in the Art of Our Time” exhibition.

Free beer, free comedy and wet money
7:30 p.m.
“Wet Cash!” is exactly what it sounds like: a free comedy show with free-flowing beer that concludes with one “lucky” audience member receiving soaking-wet dollar bills. Featuring a line-up of comic swho can be seen on Comedy Central and at the Brooklyn Queer Comedy Festival, this charity event takes place at Stars Café, near the corner of Myrtle and Wilson avenues in Bushwick; and while it’s technically free, the venue does suggest a donation of $10 per person—all of which goes to a good cause.

Indulge in a drag show
7:30 p.m.
“Inspired by the decadent worlds of Weimar Berlin meeting the beautiful filth of John Waters,” according to the event listing, the borough’s newest drag show can be found this Friday at Bushwick’s House of Yes, featuring God Complex, Mini Horrorwitz and several other show-stopping queens. Fairy-tier (a.k.a., standing room) tickets for “Absolutely: A Drag Spectacular” are available from $15, while pansy seating (or priority seating, in vanilla-speak) costs $25 each; doors open at 6:30 p.m., an hour before showtime.

Saturday, February 12

Experience love … and death
12 p.m.
Love and death have been intertwined for centuries, claim the organizers of “Happily Never After,” which offers locals the chance to familiarize themselves with Valentine’s Day in an unorthodox way: on a guided walking tour of Brooklyn’s sprawling Green-Wood Cemetery, highlighting some of its most famous residents. Starting from the complex’s main Sunset Park entrance at 25th Street and 5th Avenue, tickets for the general public cost $30 each; tales of heartbreak and melancholy are included in the price.

Craft your own heart-shaped pizza
1 p.m.
If you’re looking for a more family-friendly Valentine’s Day event this weekend, head to Time Out Market in Dumbo for an immersive pizza workshop that will send you home with a heart-shaped pie for the whole family. Hosted by Fornino, this activity is $20 for two—one parent or guardian, and one child—and includes everything you’d need, from dough and cheese to chef hats and sparkling pomegranate juice.

Imbibe at the Whiskey & Spirits Fest
1 p.m.
Sample a wide variety of whiskies from around the world—including some distilled in your own backyard—at this weekend’s Brooklyn Whiskey & Spirits Fest. If single-malts aren’t your thing, the event will also have plenty of vodka, gin, tequila and craft beer on hand. This 21-and-over event at the Brooklyn Expo Center costs $70 for a full ticket, or just $15 (sans tasting glass) for the designated drivers in attendance.

Find your soulmate on the Brooklyn Bridge
4 p.m.
O.K., hear me out: Every Brooklynite knows walking across our borough’s most famous bridge can be an exercise in frustration, but what if a hatred of selfie sticks can bring two eligible singles together? Allegedly returning “by popular demand,” this event is basically speed dating while walking to Manhattan and back, capped at 25 attendees. Tickets are sold separately for men and women, though both are the same price: $19.95.

Tinder Live: A Valentine’s Day Special
8 p.m.
Lane Moore’s critically acclaimed comedy show “Tinder Live!” is returning this weekend for a Valentine’s Day-themed extravaganza, which will see her joined by special guests Alison Leiby and Mike Drucker as Moore swipes through her dating app in real time—offering tips to would-be users, navigating dicey DMs and matching with horny New Yorkers. The show’s on Saturday night at Littlefield, a warehouse venue on Sackett Street in Gowanus.

Sunday, February 13

Try your hand at bead making
11 a.m.
This beginners’ workshop will introduce students to the colors, patterns and forms found in the art of making flame-worked glass beads, and after learning the basics of melting glass rods and shaping molten material, attendees will leave with their very own wearable, handmade beads. Tickets for this six-hour intensive at Fort Greene’s UrbanGlass glassblowing studio are $170 each.

Toast to the girls for Galentine’s Day
4 p.m.
Originally a plot from a decade-old “Parks and Recreation” episode, the day before Valentine’s Day—which protagonist bureaucrat Leslie Knope christened “Galentine’s Day”—has taken on a life of its own in the years since, with real-life events happening around the country to mark the occasion. There are Galentine’s events across Brooklyn including this intimate $65 wine-and-cheese tasting party at Winemak’Her Bar in Park Slope on Sunday afternoon.

Go to a Super Bowl viewing party
Throughout the day
It is Super Bowl Sunday, of course, and the Los Angeles Rams will take on the Cincinnati Bengals in a highly anticipated game that, admittedly, doesn’t have a lot to do with New York (better luck next year, Jets and Giants). But if you care about the game for more than just the commercials, there are viewing parties all over town: BrookLAN video game bar in Bushwick, Gateway City Church in Bay Ridge, Greenwood Park in Greenwood Heights, with a winterized 2,500 square-foot patio and eight outdoor TVs, and Trendz Lounge in East Flatbush are just a few of the local venues hosting events. Kickoff at SoFi Stadium in L.A. is at 6:30 p.m. Eastern time.

Get your burlesque fix
8:30 p.m.
Join Burlesque Apothecary as they prepare to kick off their monthly run of shows, starting with this Sunday’s “Stupid Cupid” Valentine’s-themed performance featuring Liv Dangerously, María Milagros and more of New York’s finest. It’s happening at Bushwick Public House with tickets available both online or at the door for $13.